The Shake Weight® by Jacked Up Fitness

I feel like there are cheaper ways to train this movement pattern.

So, yeah...I've owned (the past tense is key here) one of these before. I think it was featured on one of those late night infomercials, and the fitness model demonstrating its use was a hot female. She had an excellent technique of shaking it up. And great eye contact. In any case, I was sold. When it arrived, I gave it an honest try. It took me but a minute to achieve something akin to "post nut clarity." The scales fell off and I realized that I was duped. I kept it around for a bit and just used it as a dumbbell. But when it became harder and harder to convince people that I "don't jerk it," I threw it away. I thought about selling it, but that would have meant letting someone know that I fell for the marketing hype. If you are stubborn and still insist on using it, observe these two rules. First, don't admit that you have one, and, two, don't make eye contact.